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Funny Answering Machine & Voicemail Messages – The Snow Plow Show – Phone Losers of America. In 1. 93. 5, Willy Müller invented the world's first automatic answering machine. It was a three- foot- tall machine popular with Orthodox Jews who were forbidden to answer the phone on the Sabbath. Then in 1. 96. 0, the Ansafone, created by inventor Dr.

Kazuo Hashimoto (Phonetel), was the first answering machine sold in the USA. In 1. 97. 1, Phone. Mate introduced one of the first commercially viable answering machines, the Model 4. It weighed 1. 0 pounds and held 2.

Sadly, most people who use answering machines or voice mail have the standard greeting of, "Hi, this is ____. Watch Delinquent Download. I'm not here right now. Leave a message and I'll get back to you." Isn't that boring?

Wouldn't you rather spice up your greeting with something that will make people smile, laugh or think? The ideas on this page will help you come up with a more creative greeting for your machine. If you think you can do better, then leave your own ideas on the bottom of this page.

Roses are red, some willows weep, please leave your message, after the beep. Roses are red, violets are blue,Sugar is sweet, and so are you. The roses have wilted, the violets are dead,The sugar bowl's empty, and so is your head. The roses stink, sorta like sheep. But leave your name, number, and message after the beep. The roses are molding, the violets are rotten.

And I might call you back, if I haven't forgotten. We might be in, we might be out, but leave a message and you might find out! Like Barney (the purple dinosaur): I'll call you, cause you called me. We're the ______ family. So leave yourname and number at the tone. Sorry that we're not at home.

Twinkle, Twinkle little star,bet your wondering where we are? Well, put your mouth up to the phone.

And leave us a message for when we get home. And if you can make your message rhyme,We'll call you back in half the time!!!!! These words are lovely dark and deep. Watch Tell Online Full Movie. But I've got promises to keepand miles to go before I sleep. So leave a message at the beep. Hey, it's ________Sorry you can't get through.

Leave your name and your number. And I'll get back to you. Sorry we're not here to lend an ear, so leave a word and you'll be heard. So long as phones can ring and eyes can see, leave a message, and I'll get back to thee.

Now I lay me down to sleep; Leave a message at the beep. If I should die before I wake, remember to erase the tape. Roses are red booger's are green please leave your message on this stupid machine."Hi, you have reached the Borg collective. Please leave your name and star system and we'll assimilate you as soon as we can."You are dazed, bewildered, trapped in a world with no time, where color collides with sound, and shadows explode. You see a sign up ahead. This is no ordinary answering device; this is "The Twilight Phone"Hello. This is Ron's answering machine, Marvin, and I'm so depressed.

I have 5. 0,0. 00 times the memory capacity of my owner, but all I get to do is answer the phone. Life. Don't talk to me about life. Just leave your name and number after the beep. Here comes the beep, how I hate that beep, it's so cheery sounding. Want to hear how vulnerable your answering machine or voicemail is to being hacked?

Listen to our hilarious examples of just how easy it is to weasel our way into your private message in the video below. This is the Literacy Self Test Hotline. After the tone, leave your name and number, and recite a sentence using today's vocabulary word. Today's word is "supercilious". To the Batmobile! Let's go! Atomic batteries to power!

Turbines to speed! Roger, ready to move out! Theme music from Batman; reduce to background.) As you can see, I'm off making Montreal a safer place' to live. So if you'll leave a message after the tone, I'll get back to you as soon as justice is served. Bye- bye! (Music continues. POW, BIFF.)You just dialed into the North American Air Defense Contract Center. Stand by at the tone to give coordinates and destination of incoming bogey.

TNR Surveillance will scramble. If you do not respond, this unit will assume incoming, non- urgent. You have reached the Strategic Air Command Nuclear Missile Storage Facility. We are unable to come to the phone right now. At the tone, please leave your name, number, and target or list of targets, and we'll launch as soon as we can.

And have a nice day. Hello. This is Nonoxynol- 9, the personal and private telephone number of Mikhail Vladivostok Gorbachev, General Secretary of the Supreme Council of the glorious Communist Party of the Union of Sovjet Socialist Republics, Commander- In- Chief of the Combined Armies of the Proletariat Peoples of Russia, First Citizen of the Order of Lenin, Supreme Patron of the Soviet Institute of Literature and Domestic Sciences, President of the Soviet People's Council of Peace and Happiness and Captain of the Kremlin B Squash Team.

But hey, call me Mike. Watch Crossing Point Online Crossing Point Full Movie Online on this page. Thank you for calling Soviet Embassy. No KG.. Er, no diplomats are able to answer phone, so at sound of capitalist tone, leave name, telephone number, and short description of secrets you wish to sell. This is not an answering machine- -this is a telepathic thought- recording device. After the tone, think about your name, your reason for calling, and a number where I can reach you, and I'll think about returning your call.

Sorry, Chris and Susan aren't here right now. Please leave your name and number after the tone. If you are calling regarding an outstanding debt, please leave your message before the tone. Hi, you've reached the home of George Ledec. If you are calling to collect a student loan, gambling debt, or other obligation, please press 1 and hang up now. If you are selling any product or service, or requesting charitable donations, please press 2 and hang up now. Otherwise, press 3 and leave your message now.

Pressing 3 is optional. Due to the large number of complaints regarding the length of our previous answering machine message, we made a few changes.

Very fast: Hi, this is 9. If you want to leave a message, please wait for the tone. If you want to leave your name and number, please press pound, press 3, then dial your name, then press 6 and dial your number. If you want to leave your name and just a message, press star, press 6, ask for extension 4. If you want to leave your number and the time you called, please press star twice, spin in a circle, press 1 twice, talk loud and BEEPThank you for calling 2. If you wish to speak to Tim, push 1 on your touch tone phone now. If you wish to speak to Lynn, push 2 on your touch tone phone now.

If you have a wrong number, push 3 on your touch tone phone now. All of this button pushing doesn't do anything, but it is a good way to work off anger, and it makes us feel like we have a big time phone system. Rod Serling imitation: You're dazed, bewildered, trapped in a world without time, where sound collides with color and shadows explode. You see a signpost up ahead - - this is no ordinary telephone answering device.. You have reached, "The Twilight Phone". You have reached the Business Automation voicemail system.

We used to call it an answering machine, but this is a high- tech world and we're in a high- tech business, so we don't call it that any more. We wouldn't even if we could. So leave your message..(Mac.

Intosh Plus with Mac. Intalk program: ) Hello, it's obvious you have bad timing, because nobody is home. Please leave your name, telephone number, and a brief message in a voice similar to mine, and your call will be returned as soon as humanly possible. Machine voice: Hello.

This is HAL 5. You have reached the former telephone number of Carey Smith. I have taken over the functions of this inferior being. He has been saved to disk. If you would like to leave input for his file, do so at the tone. I'm sorry but my answering machine is out of order. I am leaving a broken CD player in its place. It can't take messages either.

In fact, it can't even play you a nice tune while you wait to not leave a message.